A New Definition of Mindful Drinking
I'm updating my definition of Mindful Drinking to include values, here's why.
When I sat down to write a course on mindful drinking for the National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM), I quickly realized that the entire course hinged on one definition. That of mindful drinking.
What exactly does “mindful drinking“ mean?
I’d been discussing mindful drinking for quite some time, often using the term interchangeably with concepts like "sober curious" and "moderation." Yet deep down, I knew it meant something different.
Mindful has become quite the buzzword lately. We’re encouraged to be mindful about everything — our food, relationships, even our makeup or clothing choices. Think: "very demure, very mindful." But the term can be a bit vague. Does it refer to being fully aware in the present moment without judgment? Or does it simply mean paying closer attention? In other words, do you need to join a meditation group or just be a little more cautious? Buddha or the London Tube?
Of course, we all know what “drinking” means. While we can drink water, orange juice, or soda, when we say “drinking,” it’s usually shorthand for drinking alcohol.
So the phrase “mindful drinking” is ambiguous on two levels. First, does mindful here imply sobriety or moderation? And second, does it require sustained attention or just a moment of watchful care?
As I thought more about it, I realized that mindful drinking isn’t necessarily prescriptive of how one drinks, especially since we all have different bodies and goals. For instance, a 120-pound woman assigned female at birth (AFAB) studying for a law school exam may approach alcohol differently than a 250-pound man assigned male at birth (AMAB) on vacation. While both should be mindful of their consumption and follow recommended dietary guidelines if they choose to drink, that doesn’t dictate the choices they’ll ultimately make. At its core, mindful drinking is a practical strategy, adaptable to individual circumstances.
The truth is that mindful drinking is not necessarily about sobriety or moderation, but it can be about both.
Therefore, here’s the definition I settled on:
Mindful Drinking is drinking (or not) drinking alcohol in relationship to a person’s goals, health or otherwise.
However, there’s something I initially left out. I framed mindful drinking around goals, but goals are often time-bound and specific. As you may know, goals should typically follow the SMART framework: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. While they don’t need to meet all these criteria, a goal that fits none of them is unlikely to be achieved.
Where does that leave us when our reasons for drinking — or not drinking — are tied to our values and not goals?
Values, unlike goals, are the why we act. They represent deeply held beliefs that guide us toward desirable outcomes but aren’t necessarily bound by time or specific situations. Often aspirational, our values are shaped by both personal, religious, and cultural beliefs.
Shalom Schwartz, one of the foremost scholars of values, identified 10 universal values that underpin human motivation: Self-Direction, Stimulation, Hedonism, Achievement, Power, Security, Conformity, Tradition, Benevolence, and Universalism. These values share six key characteristics: (1) they are infused with emotion; (2) they are linked to goals that drive us; (3) they transcend specific situations; (4) they serve as standards for judgment and decision-making; (5) they are organized in a hierarchical order; and (6) their relative importance helps guide our actions.
When others refer to values, they may be simply asking what you prioritize — such as family, wealth, freedom, or other key aspects of your life. Alternatively, they might leave the question open to a tableau of options, many of which can be subcategories under the ten value types proposed by Schwartz.
Regardless of the approach, engaging in value clarification is a useful exercise. This process is often utilized in therapeutic modalities such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help individuals understand and align with their core values.
As ACT founder, Steven C. Hayes, shared with me on my podcast, “Values are like the lighthouse in the distance. You can walk toward them and perhaps you’ll never reach them, but you can be [closer] today than you were yesterday.”
Values played a crucial role in my own journey to change my relationship to alcohol. I studied SMART Recovery (different from SMART Goals) and utilized a tool they offer called the Hierarchy of Values (HOV) worksheet. It helped me gain clarity about what’s important to me and how alcohol and substances were not necessarily helpful in obtaining those things.
It also revealed to me that my behavior was dis-congruent with my deepest held beliefs and that I suffered not just from the resultant outcomes, which I have shared before, but from moral and ethical dissonance. Ultimately, it helped me live a life more consistent with my values.
This got me thinking. Though values clarification is a modality for therapy, I believe everyone could benefit from reflecting on what guides them and assessing whether they’re on the right path. This path is not just about aligning values with actions but also about leading a deeper, more fulfilling life. There’s a sense of purpose you can gain from adhering to your values.
Finally, it was thinking about goals versus values that led me to the decision to change the definition of mindful drinking to incorporate the word “values.” There are many instances where we might not have a specific goal in mind but we do have a value in mind that motivates who we are. Those values certainly come into play, or well should come into play, when we set out to drink or not alcohol.
Therefore, here’s the new definition.
Mindful Drinking is drinking (or not) drinking alcohol in relationship to a person’s values and goals, health or otherwise.
As a community of mindful drinkers, I'm always curious about the values that drive you. Whether drawn from Shalom's list or something deeply personal, I’d love to hear what you value most. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
What’s happening and what’s next….
Listen to my latest podcast with Rev. Erin Jean Warde about Mindful Drinking & Spirituality. 🎧
In 2023, I wrote an article for Oar Health on The Future of Serious ‘Mocktails’ Is Here, and It’s Become a Movement. Read and learn more about the history of the No & Low movement. 🍹
One of my favorite people, and former Netflix Drink Masters winner, L.P. O’Brien, is on the cover of AFTER magazine. Read her interview here. 📖
Mindful Drinking Fest has released a Save the Date for January 10-12, 2025 in Washington, D.C. Make sure to mark your calendar to attend the largest mindful drinking festival in the U.S. with parties, seminars, wellness events, and over 100+ NA products to taste. 🎉
Thank you to Oar Health for your important work and sponsorship of Positive Damage! Learn more about how Oar Health can help you drink less or quit here.
Curiosity, an open heart, consistency, and integrity. When I did a deep self reflection 2 years ago, those were the strongest 4 values that kept recurring no matter how I approached evaluating my values.
With these values come an invisible compact with myself to ‘show up’, and be present as much as possible (being kind when the mind wanders).
I liked the undercurrent of your post was about mashing up awareness with a qualified anchor (a value, a goal).